It's 2 AM and I'm wide awake because of the laxatives. I went to the bathroom a few minutes ago and came back into my room after that. Because it was really warm, I opened up a window. I find it incredibly hard to describe the feeling I had.
The silent night. Darkness. The smell of winter, cold and gas and dirt, fresh dirt. The fog surrounding everything. It was so cold that the smoke coming from the houses' chimneys froze. It just froze and stopped moving. I looked up: clear sky. Maybe 10-20 stars were shining. It's a very rare thing to see stars around here, especially during autumn and winter. There are usually tons of clouds on the sky, but tonight was different. Tonight was so incredibly beautiful that I whispered "Oh my God. Thank you, thank you, nature, for your endless beauty."
After seeing all these, I can die in peace. It's not that I'm suicidal, but I feel like one of my greatest wishes has been fulfilled. The peace I have now achieved is so intense and deep. It's incredibly beautiful.
I want YOU to do what I did tonight. Take some time to admire the nature. Especially during the night, just take a look out the window and stare at the hopefully starry sky. Notice one particularly shiny star. Close your eyes and let the wind flow through your hair. Free your mind. Let all thoughts vanish.
Ich kann auch nicht schlafen :/
ReplyDeleteIch liebe das Gefühl von der Natur oder Musik absolut überwältigt zu werden! Ich würde ja jetzt auch rausschauen, aber ich wohne im Erdgeschoss und lehne mich da nicht so oft aus dem Fenster :)) Aber ich werde versuchen morgen außerplanmäßig mal raus zu gehen.
Haben dich deine Eltern noch mal auf die Tabletten angesprochen? Ich verstehe vollkommen, dass du wütend bist, dass sie deine Privatsphäre nicht respektieren, aber sie machen sich auch nur Sorgen. Pass auf dich auf!
Alles Liebe <3