I simply can't find any time or motivation to blog anymore. I'm too busy with throwing up, taking laxatives, eating, sleeping, doing homework... lots of it. I feel so miserable. How did this happen? You'd think that an eating disorder - which does not include binging, only purging - would make one thinner, skinny. But I somehow managed to go from 58 kg to 64-65. How did this happen? How? I am disappointed. I am incredibly stressed this year, but really? 7 kg? This is not okay...
On a more positive note, I am going to the National Olympics in German. Again. That means, basically, that I'm the best in German in my entire city. Last year I was the 3rd in the whole country (for my age group). All I have to do is write, there are no grammar exercises. Obviously, you have to have good grammar in order to write a story well.
I miss my old self.
Aww, sounds like a lot is going on. I hope you're managing it alright. Try not to worry too much about the weight gain, I know it's disappointing, but just keep reminding yourself that your body needed to gain some weight to be healthy. Congratulations on the National Olympics! That's an amazing achievement! I wish you lots of luck! Stay strong dear <3
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