Friday, December 28, 2012

Happy Holidays! :)

   Hello there, people who might be still reading my blog.

   This time of the year is very hard for me, because it involves food. Tons and tons of food, so I have to purge and take laxatives. Great. I have also received a bunch of nice gifts... but that's not what I want to talk about in this post.

   I have a classmate who is depressed and suicidal. Long story short, she's seeing a crappy therapist, her mom doesn't give her the pills the way she should, and she's been pretty much physically and emotionally abused.

   We had a German class together on Wednesday (yesterday). She told me she couldn't write because she had a deep cut on her arm. She showed it to me - yes, it was deep. You could see the muscle. It didn't scare me though, because I am used to that kind of cuts. Some of mine looked a bit like that, but they were smaller. Nevermind. So I convinced her to let me take her to the ER, she needed stitches. After the class was over, my mom took us to the ice rink and left. This girl then told me that we can't go to the ER, because they'll send her to the psych ward. I was desperate and my heart had been racing for the past three hours. So, the next thing we did was go into a pharmacy. I bought some Betadine and bandages. We went into a Cafe, walked straight to the bathroom and "fixed" her. It was pretty useless, but it was all I could do.

   I talked to her last night. She was suicidal, crying and so on. I convinced her AGAIN to go to the ER with me. We met today around 2 PM. We went to the hospital and she went to see a doctor. I waited outside. They called her parents. Her parents came. Her abusive father didn't say a word to me, but her slightly saner mother thanked me. Then her father started being mean and rude to her. I waited until she and her mother went to see the doctor again. I had to leave after that.

   We knew that she would end up in the psych ward. We knew that the entire situation will suck even more after her parents find out.

   I called her a few hours after that. She told me they didn't send her to the psych ward. They stitched her cut. Her father was obviously an ass and restricted her internet access. He's an alcoholic and so on, the girl has been living in an unhealthy environment for years.

   Then, someone else called me. The German teacher. She's a 30-something, just married, nice woman. She and her husband are family friends with the girl's parents and they see each other and talk often. The teacher knows about the girl's "issues." She asked me a few things, I did my best to make her understand the girl better. A few  minutes after that, I talked to the girl again. Surprisingly, she said that the teacher knows I'm cutting, too. I was incredibly surprised! It doesn't necessarily bother me, as long as she doesn't talk to me or to anyone else about it.

   I hope the girl will be alright..

   I have been cut-free for a week. Before that, I was cut-free for 2 or 3 weeks. I'm getting better. My birthday's in two weeks, but I'm celebrating it with my best friends next week. We're going to Bucharest, where my mom recently moved. I can't wait.

   I hope you guys are ok! :) I wish you a happy New Year!


  1. Hey! While I may not always comment, I read every single one of your posts. You were in a very difficult situation with your friend, and you handled it very well -- you want to do what's best for her, but at the same time, you don't want to force her to the ER, and perhaps the psych ward, as that may cause a tear in your friendship.

    Congrats, though, on being cut-free for a week! Keep up the good work. The holidays are rough for a lot of people, especially the ED population, but you survived and got through it! (maybe not in the most healthy way...)

    Have a happy and healthy New year! :-)

  2. hey chanelle,
    im sorry i dont always comment on your blog but just to let you know i always read your posts. always♥
    and im glad that things are getting better. stay strong xoxo

  3. Hey chanelle !!
    Its really great that you helped that girl and I'm glad to hear that you're getting better..
    Happy New Year ! :)