I need to take a break again. It seems like this house, this building, is driving me insane. I will stay at my grandma's for the next week - she lives in a small apartment, I have my own little dark room there.
I'm sick of blood and vomit and food and laxatives. That's what everyday is like here. Eat, stick fingers down my throat, get scratches on my knuckles, feel disgusting, cut, feel good, sit on the window sill, watch the moon, freeze, get down, go to sleep, wake up at exactly 4 o'clock, walk through my room, go back to sleep.. start a new day.
It is exhausting me. I am tired to death, sick and tired, I want out. Soon. Quickly. Now.