I must admit, eating yesterday felt incredibly weird. I got used to it after a while and ended up eating normal-ish. Thank God I didn't overeat, or anything else that could have made me feel awful. This morning I was so dizzy, that I had to lie on the floor a bit after getting out of bed. I am usually dizzy but add five days of not eating to that and this is what you get. A Chanelle lying on the floor.
I am not sure whether I should share this kind of stuff anymore or not. There are people who envy my behavior and want to stop eating because, well, "that lucky skinny bitch went five days without food." No, no one said it THAT way. Which is why I ask -- would it be better if I kept this stuff to myself? This is no "Omg its my blog and i dont even have the freedom to write whatever i want" situation, I'm just thinking that it's maybe not good for other people to read these things. On the other hand, I also have a weird feeling every time I talk about not eating, cutting etc. I feel like I am bragging or something, which I'm definitely not.
I don't know if I said this before, but my ex texted me on Friday and asked me to go out sometime (as friends of course). I agreed and asked him if he could come today. Because he might be coming, I arranged with a friend (the only one who knows about him) to meet me tonight and after that I'll go see him if he can come. He never is and never has been sure whether he could meet me or not. I'm hoping for the best.
The suicidal girl I went to the ER with wants to run away from home. She is now seeing my therapist. My mother called her and said "She promised not to cut anymore. Why did she do it?" -- Woman, just tell me, how stupid are you?! Do you expect a cutter to "just" stop?! I was so angry. To be continued.