I went to a doctor a few days ago. I could not breathe, she said I had very low blood pressure and prescribed me some calcium.. Which I'm not really taking. whoops. Still struggling to breathe.
I am lying to my therapist about my cutting (and self-harm in general0 because I want her to think I am fine, so she'll say we no longer have to meet. She has already kind of said that.. My cutting is a lot less frequent now, but I still do it sometimes because it feels wrong not to do it.
I am manic lately. Hopeful and happy and.. everything. I am very organized, very clean, I can't sleep at night and I have so many plans for the future! I want to do so many things, have perfect relationships with my friends and less meaningful relationships with boys. I have concluded that they are not worth anything, so I will just stop seeking deep feelings and relationships.
I am starting school tomorrow (YES!!), so I will most likely not post as often as I do now. Also, I will probably not have the time to read all your blogs, but I will. I usually have more time on weekends. I probably won't comment, but I am reading your blogs. Just so you know.
I should go and get dressed now. I am seeing Hamlet with one of my best friends (Dee). Yes, I just called her my best friend! I have never done that before. And I'm also having an awesome friendship with Jee. I haven't ever called them these names, but I want to avoid giving any names on this blog. So yes, Dee and Jee are my best friends.
I feel so relieved that I am single now. Probably the reason why I'm manic.