Thursday, July 5, 2012

Chronically hallucinating.. (2)

   The hallucinations.

   I don't know if I should really call them hallucinations, though I couldn't call them otherwise, either.

   I think it happened in April. I was on holiday, it was around 4 o'clock in the afternoon and I was at home with Dad and my brother. I wanted to weigh myself. To reach the scale, I had to get out of my room, go through my parents' bedroom and then into my mom's bathroom, where the only scale in the house is located. Therefore, I get out of my room. Before entering my parents' bedroom, I saw my mother entering the house and closing the door. She just came back from work, which was odd, since she never comes homes before 6. She walked to the mirror downstairs (I was upstairs) and put her keys on the table. She then took out her blackberry  and started reading e-mails. I didn't say hi, just kept walking until I got to the scale. I stepped on it -- it was totally off. I triple-weighed myself and got different numbers each time, so I gave up. I had to tell my mother that the scale wasn't accurate, so she could buy a new one. I went downstairs and couldn't find her. I went to my dad and asked him about her.
"She's, umm, at work?"
"But I swear she was here 2 minutes ago!"

   This happened to me twice, both situations with my mother coming home from work too early. It seemed so damn real. If that was not a hallucination, I don't know what it was.

   I also used to have auditory hallucinations on Saturday mornings. I used to lie in my bed after waking up and hear voices downstairs. It was usually one of my grandmas or my brother's ex-nanny. When I asked my parents if anyone had come over, they said no. I carefully listened each time, and could swear on God that I heard their voices and usually could also recognize whose voice it was. It was not the television. And my parent's don't have the ability, as far as I know, to change their voices to match my grandmas' and the nanny's.

   Sometimes, when I walk, I hear something "clicking" in my head with each step I make -- and it's not my earrings. It is an annoying sound, but it has not happened in a few weeks. Other times I just hear a long "riiiiing" somewhere far, far away, but it seems so near and it is disturbing, especially because I am the only one who can hear it. It also happens that I hear an old, high-note alarm tone from my mother's alarm-thingy. We have it since I was a little kid and used to play with it then. I do not hear it as if it would actually come from the alarm, but more as if it were in the back of my head.

   I think the hallucinations I got after not sleeping for a long period of time don't count -- because those are caused by lack of sleep. I was paranoid and saw all kinds of lights and shadows (among other auditory and tactile "hallucinations"). Check out the post here.

   That would be it, I guess. What do you think? Lunatic or not? Kidding.

1 comment:

  1. Even I sometimes hear sounds like that...mostly when I'm lying on my bed at night..and close my eyes..I hear the sound of a if its going to crash right in my room...