Tuesday, January 10, 2012

- Chapter 1 - Part TWO.

   This is the second part of the first chapter, but not the last one. I'm still in the process of editing, so I'll try to post parts of it every Tuesday.
   The first part can be found here.


            I keep recalling those memories. The days when he used to hit me, when my own father used to brutally hit me, the innocent me. It did not happen very often, but when it did, it became almost impossible to forget… and it still is. I remember the pain I have felt.
            As a kid, I was unable to see how much damaged he had caused. In the end, I got used to it, so I didn't bother to think about it anymore. Later it occurred to me that his actions were not normal, and that I didn't deserve to go through that. But who could I tell? It happened so often, that I learned to be okay with it. It didn't surprise me anymore, when it happened. At the age of seven, I wanted to die for the first time. There were so many thoughts racing through my head, so many memories, so many reasons for me to die.
             So as I said, I eventually got used to the whole situation. I didn't care about it, my mind became numb (as opposed to my body).
            I used to close my eyes and shake my hand. "Go away!" I tried to block out the thoughts. Because of that, my mind was slowly breaking. I stopped talking to the people, and started talking to myself. I couldn't trust people anymore. The mean, untrustworthy people. And despite everything that had happened, I was cautiously making my way through life, trying to survive somehow, to fit in. I was alive.

Edit: The next part can be found here.

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