Friday, August 24, 2012

Lax night and feeling dead

   As the title suggests, I have been on laxatives last night. Before they "kicked in," I was dying because of the heat, was all sweaty and tired and just "blah." Then, sometime early in the morning, I started freezing and had awful cramps. I hid under the blanket and wrapped it around myself the best I could. I was still freezing. I went to the bathroom, but nothing came out. Not yet.. So I returned to my bed (what am I talking, it's just a mattress in an empty room, more on that later*) and covered myself with the blanket. I fell asleep. A few hours later, I wake up still freezing and still shaking and full of cold sweat. I went to the bathroom and.. yeah, you can imagine.  I went to sleep some more after that.
   I woke up at 10 am, home alone. I was so dizzy and so tired and my eyes and head and ears hurt. I got up from the mattress, but did it way too quickly. Which is why, after three seconds of spinning around, I collapsed back on the mattress and closed my eyes. After a few seconds I opened my eyes and the first thought that came to my mind was "Did that really happen? Was it just my imagination, did I dream? How did I get here?" It's always like that. I get up too fast, spin around, can't see anything, feel sick and collapse on whatever is closest to me, preferably something soft like a bed.
   I went downstairs and poured myself two glasses of water: I drank one of them and put the other one in the freezer. As I sipped, it felt so funny to have something in my mouth. I moved my tongue around just to "feel" the water. Next, I went where my book was and only started reading after daydreaming and taking short naps for a few minutes. I read a bit and then.. I can't remember what I did. I know that, a while later, I was on my dad's laptop playing some game and eating an apple. After these last few days, just imagine how much I had to weigh (pun very intended) this situation. "No, don't touch food. But it's just an apple. But then you'll start eating more and more and more and end up binging. No, I won't, it's just an apple, people do eat sometimes, you know? Yes, but you could go a little longer without food, just think about it! Yes, body/mind, but I am so lazy to even eat, so tired and feeling so sick, what makes you think I'll eat more? FINE, GO EAT." So I go into the kitchen, guess what. "Where are those fucking apples?! The only time when I decide to eat and actually feel okay with this idea, there are no damn apples!" I eventually found the last apple left and ate it.

   This was my purely awesomistic day, and it's not even 3 pm yet. Oh, oh! The "*" in the brackets above. I am getting new furniture for my room. I will definitely post pictures, because you know what? I would usually post them on my public blog, but I find it a little unfair to share personal stuff with people that don't know me at all. Fuck dem bitcheeez, I love you guys so much more than I like them! I can be myself here, this is our little dark corner where I speak and you listen and when you feel like it, even make some comments; and then we all pack our stuff and move on to someone else's place and so on. Yes, I'll be sharing the pictures with you guys. The furniture will be blue, different shades of it and some white. My walls are now  white (I'm not going to mention the color they were before..), and one of them will be full of pictures of my choice and hand-written quotes. I used to have something like this before, but it was just a poster on which I wrote. Now I'll have an ENTIRE WALL for that, can you imagine? Welcome to The Asylum, girls.

1 comment:

  1. hey chanelle :)
    your new room sounds interesting..i'm waiting for those photos ;)
    Take care.