This is the last post, I think. It is 3 AM as I am writing it, but I will only publish it later. On the way to Vienna, I have had a very interesting dream, it really made me think.
We were in Vienna. As we were waiting for the light to turn green, a man with some bags in his hands walked across the street and left his bags in the middle of it. I suspiciously walked to them and opened them - bombs. Everyone started screaming and running, I ran into some bushes trying to hide there. But guess what? There was another bomb! Which exploded. The next second I saw myself in our car, dad was driving, I was sleeping. I knew I had died. "But.. But what if my friends and everyone I know won't find out that I am dead? What about *24-year-old man who was flirting with me. See this and this.*, *friend from the internet who knows about some of my issues* and *ex boyfriend*? Will they forget me? Will they know I'm dead? But what about me, there were a few things that I still want to do.. No, girl, it's okay. You are dead now. This is all you ever wanted, you are okay." Then "My Immortal" from Evanescence started playing and I started to see myself less and less, from farther and farther until I woke up.
"Am I dead? Should I ask them? No.. I'm not dead. But it felt so real."
there was another dream in which I was with a guy, taller and more handsome than my ex, who was caring and strong and we kissed and I fell in love with him for a second. I quickly forgot him after that, but I'll never forget how he treated me. He was more romantic and caring and warm than my ex, which is what I have always sought.
Then, another dream. Me and my ex at my place. We were very close to each other. We talked about getting back together, and I told him how many times I had dreamed about that (actual dreams, not day dreaming), but was so happy that it was finally "real." I caressed his hair with my fingers and actually felt it, I thought it was real and couldn't believe it. Then we went into my room and started kissing, he took of his clothes but was very shy, then he disappeared somewhere in my closet, I think. I went to take off my clothes in the bathroom, and while I was doing it, my dad went to my ex and they started fighting, he threw him out of the house.. And then I woke up.